Here is a nother one of my poems. please let me know what you think.?

I dont think this is my best poem but let me know what you think. thanks



Perpetual flowering



The delicate flower is rested between the pages of a

long forgotten book,

which sits upon the shelf of agelessness in a

desecrated nook.

The sand slips passed and the pages slowly brown,

but your colors remain vibrant and your petals remain

your crown.

As the night falls and the book slowly crumbles,

you are left all alone so delicate and so humble.



Although you may face certain demise;

you know not to fear the darkness of night.

For by morning you shall in glory arise,

and be born anew in the freshly risen light.

Here is a nother one of my poems. please let me know what you think.?
I like it. However, praise won't help the poem, so I'll give you some constructive criticism:

It's a little trite

I'm not quite sure what the rhyme scheme is and it's making the whole thing not flow as well.

I'm a little confused about the part where the book sits on a shelf of agelessness but still crumbles.



But besides those things it's really great. Nice imagery, I think this has a lot of potential.
Reply:this is such a beautiful poem. i like it. it sounds like the passage of time, and death (with the book). it is very good.
Reply:The idea, the behavior, the act of squishing a flower using pages of a book to preserve it - is a good idea source/topic for a poem.

The main subject perhaps has something to do with preservation.

I especially like the title.
Reply:it sounds good. as if it feels lonely.
Reply:I like the way you began the poem but lost me in the middle could have been expressed further towards the middle and perhaps ending with another light. Paragraphs need to be spread out a little. Overall seemed fair keep working at it. You'll get better.
Reply:I think it's abit laboured
Reply:I don't know much about poetry, and may have totally missed the point, but...

I think you are talking about aging gracefully?

Or maybe, getting old and even dying, but not being forgotten?



Either way, the poem is nice, IMO.



:)
Reply:I can't really criticize since i'm not a writer but I thought your poem is very graceful. In my opinion you have a knack for writing. Let your talent blossom.