Are you not able to forgive, but want to?

For many years I have struggled with forgiving a couple of people that have really hurt me. I had a desire to forgive and would ask Jesus many times to help me. Last night on the way home from work, I asked again for help, because my friend and I during lunch were talking about forgivness. This morning I woke up and a "swish" went through my body and the unforgivness and pain is gone, completely. I even had an opportunity today to bring up the people and I had no desire to mention it. I am finally free! The same thing happened to my lady friend today also and we rejoiced!



I just want to encourage those that are dealing with this same problem, to keep talking to Jesus. He will deliver you from any sin, without Him we are unable to change and He receives all the glory!



"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us"



Would you like to share your struggle in this area to encourage others that are seeking to forgive and receive healing?



Thanks

Are you not able to forgive, but want to?
It is a struggle for all of us Christians. Even Paul wrote about how HE struggled with just that sort of thing... the struggle between our spiritual goodness and the temptations of the flesh that we still experience.



Being unable to forgive someone is a sin in God's eyes, because He wants us to forgive others as He has forgiven us... just at the "Lord's Prayer" states. But we are "only human."



What I do in such cases is to say this prayer...



"Lord, I know that YOU can forgive these people for the sins they have done against me, but I cannot. I am weak, and although my spirit is willing, my flesh is weak. Forgive ME for being unable to forgive THEM, and help me to, one day, find that forgiveness."



As you experienced, just such a time CAME for YOU, and you were FINALLY able to forgive these people! Praise God for His loving kindness!





Have a blessed day.
Reply:Honey I am so happy for you. I have forgiven everyone that has wronged me. And I give the Lord all the Praise and the Glory. We have to forgive to be forgiven by the Lord. I know the Lord was working in your heart for this to happen. God is Good. God Bless you my dear. Have a good walk with the Lord.
Reply:I have a hard time fully forgiving 2 people. It's not that I don't want to, it's that it hurts too much the things they have done. I know I need to forgive since God forgives me. I keep praying and it has gotten a little easier. I have faith one day my sorrows will be lifted - God is awesome like that. And maybe an extra bonus, they will follow Christ.



God bless you!!
Reply:Yeah I'm in a similar situation. I was very angry at my ex for awhile who was a Christian. I wanted to forgive but every time I thought about how this person wronged me it was hard. I just ask the Lord to forgive them for me.
Reply:Yep, but every time I think of them I try saying "I forgive them, I forgive them" and then praying for them. Someone said that worked for them, so I'm trying it too.



Praise God for you healing from this!
Reply:Yeah, thats mostly cause most of the kids at my school are jackasses and whenever I want to forgive them they do something else to piss me off.
Reply:Amen Sister C !



I am working on the same problem.



JESUS help me !



dave :'%26gt;
Reply:I will never, ever forgive the man that molested my four female cousins, or their mother. Ever. He raped them. One of them was 12. One of them is 16 and pregnant. They have gone to the police, but my aunt claims that they are only saying these things because they hate him, and want them to get a divorce. And because they live in this tiny town in the middle of the sticks, no one believes them. Their mother knows what is happening, and allows it.



My cousin is pregnant with her step father's child. He destroyed their childhood. He has raped and beaten them. I will never, ever forgive him that. So long as their is breath in my body I will not forgive. In a couple months there will be a paternity test to prove that my cousins baby is his. Hopefully he will be in jail soon. I wish rape and pedophilia came with a death sentence.
Reply:I feel like that a lot, in sixth grade I was put against my own friend by his friends. We went to camp with his brother and his brother then stole some of his stuff to be cooler (although he and I were probably tied for the most uncool kids in the cabin) and he thought it was me. He then went back to me to a LUTHERAN SCHOOL, and his other friend who didn't get along with me great went and said it would be funny to terrorize me. Well it was not anything at first, sahing something "insulting" to me, which I got over with quickly, but then his friend started getting him to do worse and worse stuff. Finally he got really mad at me when I turned him in for something that sent him to the principals office, it escalated to the point where he made it hard to even pay attention in class. Finally in seventh grade we just forgot about each other and went our separate ways pretty much ignoring each other. At times he even was nice to me, like he invited me to his huge 4th of July Party and even his friend who turned us against us was there, but we really were mad at each other still. Now it has been about 5 years (that can give away that I am not as old as you may have thought), and we go to different high schools, and we never forgave each other. I really want to forgive him, but I don't ever get the guts to even e-mail him, and I know that without God's help I will never forgive him. I think it is because I am afraid he won't either, I hear he is not in the best crowd in his school (im in private (lutheran) he's in public) and I just am afraid that he isn't the same as he was before 6th grade. We were perfect friends, and now I don't even know if I can forgive him (expecily since I wasn't exactly trying to end the fight) probably because I don't know if he will forgive me.

To make a long story short I have trouble forgiving people, because I want to know they will forgive me. I know God will help me, but I ask you to pray for me to have courage to ask God for help?
Reply:yes i been there to, it is hard for we human to forgived, those who have hurt us so badly, i had to forgive one of my sister in Christ ,and also a minister of God for causing , me to lose my job a couple of years a go, and God's now, this was a very emotional situation, that i had to lived with for 2 long miserable years, It is so hard and wrong , when one of your own, that belongs in the Household of God, lied on you, to get attention, and because one speak, the true, i could not deal with it so i just left, and went some where else, i realy prayed about this so many times but i just couldn't, forgive her no matter what i did each time i saw her it was like , God please put her to the back of my head, until, i'am a little stronger, but, i was so hurt, i just couldn't think straigh, and finally i went back to see my former Paster, and i told her how i felt about a man and woman of God , and how they suppose to show love ,and compassion, and mercy to , others and not hurting other people and running them away, she told me, that i was right , but to try to forgive, well she fix,ed that problem and i got my job back, but i still was hurting and just stayed away, since i did not want to be hurt never againt, and i lived with this problem inside of me for as i said 2 yers, One day this person had made her mind up to go to over sea, to work, to Germany, and i was so glad, i went yes good and hope she stayed there, and never comes back, but that night, i repent and told the Lord, i need help to forgive, so that night i dream that the Lord had shown me a bad plane accident, and that she was on that air-plane and every one had die, every thing seam so real, and people were incomplete, and i was crying so bad, and i remember saying , God please let her be alright , for the sake of her 3-kids, and i woke up crying, my family was worried about me, so i called up my Paster again and told her i had something i needed to ,share with her and she said come on over we are waiting on . and when i got there the whole congregation were there waiting on me , but before that i had told my paster about my dream and she did not said nothing to any one about this scarry dream, so this Minister(Female ), got up and told the whole congregation that she needed prayer, that she was a bad person, and that she was going to stay, that the Lord had told her she had to get every thing right,and she was no going to Germany , Because she had dream that the airplane, she was going on was going to crash and she will not survive, so She got scared and cancel her trip to Germany, then i got up and toll the Whole congregation , how she had told a lie on me and had cause me to loose my job, and that i had hated her sooo bad for 2 years, but then i repent and gave every thing to the Lord and i asked to please forgiveme for not be able to love her and forgive her for what she had done to me, and then i saw her body laying on the ground missing parts, fire every where, and dead people all around, and i cried like a little child , i then realized what had happen i told the Lord to fix, it and that every thing was in His hands i ,surrunder and humbled my self and asked for the help i so much needed to start, this process of healing, and God just showed me, what i did not want to see, so i could , love her again, and forgive her , As He love and forgaved us all, this was a double`portion of love and forgiviness,so i know that with out the Lord in our lives it is realy hard to forgive one another, and i realy did forgaved her today she is one of my best friend, and her daughter is married to my brother in law, so not only that the lord fix ed it but he put us all together as a family, and what ever the lord put together, man cannot take it apart my 2 children's are her daughters 'kids ants ,and uncles, God realy takes care of his people no matter what is going on in one;s life,. May the Grace of God, Abide in each of U,Jesus is Lord. Peace out.My TESTIMONY!!!
Reply:Hi SomethingTrinity,



It is perfect timing you brought this up! Last Sat. at my church, I attended a 6 hour workshop called Beauty For Ashes.It was about dealing with past hardships and struggles. One of the topics that was brought up was forgiveness. I received a booklet on this freedom ministry course that lists 13 steps to an abundant life in Jesus. One of the steps, of course, is practicing forgiveness.Here are some key points that I'll paraphrase that Pastor Mark Strandjord(not my pastor but author of this booklet) says-



1) We have choice whether to forgive or not, but we Christians should do so since God has forgiven us for our sins.



2)Rely on God to lead us to forgive.



3)It may take awhile to forgive and be healed.



4)Only God should pass judgment on others.



5)Forgiveness leads to emotional, spiritual, and physical health.



6)Forgiveness doesn't mean we like or accept wrongdoing that others have done to us.



7)Forgiveness isn't the same as forgetting.



8)We need to forgive asap and not procrastinate in doing so.



9)We need to forgive ourselves as well as forgive others.



10)Don't be angry towards God.



I agree forgiveness is a hard concept to practice. I've always had a problem forgiving others. However, God and my support group Emotions Anonymous have taught me the value and healing that takes place when we forgive. As one Emotions Anonymous member once said, " Resentment is like allowing somebody to live in your head rent free."- very true!



At this workshop 6 days ago, the pastor leading it told us to make a list of those of us who have harmed us and to spend a few minutes asking God to help us forgive them. It was a very humbling and moving exercise! I made a list of about a dozen people, many who I've never forgiven before including my grandma for being uncaring. I forgave these people for the first time ever, and it felt great! Forgiveness is hard, but it's a wonderful thing!



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