Poem HELP please?

I honestly think this peom I wrote in 4th grade sucks. Advice? Start over? I really dont think its good, Im not putting myself down. TRUTH PLEASE



Echo the Unicorn



In the light morning mist in which lost words echo,

A sweet hum burns its sound in both ears,

And drifting slowly through a pale wilted willow,

A creature appears, seeming rather queer.



One enters a cave and the humming grows louder,

And the creature stands proud, brave, and strong.

Majestically, standing it stares on, still prouder,

Softly at first , but arises her song.



The song one will hear in dreams when they are sleeping,

Or inside a fantasy story.

The song that stops all anger, hatred, and weeping,

The sweet song know as, “Unicorn’s Glory.”



The unicorn stood fiery, white as a new pearl,

Glittering from the luminous moonlight.

The unicorn had a white mane, with a small curl,

Her body sparkling ever so bright.

Poem HELP please?
It's full of imagery and rhyme and a nice 4th grader subject....unicorns. You can, of course, tell it's been written by a very young person but still commendable on that point alone. Most 4th graders aren't this sophisticated, still doing 'roses are red' stuff. The length is to be credited as well.





Nothing ever sucks if it teaches us and we all have to start 'SOMEWHERE'.



I'd save it. I save EVERYTHING. Still have some of my very first little things I penned from many years ago. I've been known to re-write some of my more worthy pieces several times through the years as I grow and my skills mature. And, you really never know what images or words in an old poem might stir you to springboard off this into something else.
Reply:great
Reply:It is quite a poem! Considering I like unicorns... this describes it all! And I am telling the truth, "I-LOVE-BOOTS-MY-KITTEN!"



Pretty good poem. I don't think anyone will say it was 'horrendus and needs to vanish forever'!



lol. =)



Have a good day to you and Boots!



~ Animal Lover, %26amp; your fav contact!



lol. Just kidding. =D
Reply:I like that you were able to write a poem like this in fourth grade. The language is very advanced and it has a beautiful, almost dream-like quality too it. However, the poem itself isn't one I, personally would read just because of it's meaning. Obviously you were young and wrote about a Unicorn, but knowing they don't exist just turns me completely away, however this would probably be a great poem to introduce poetry to children at a young age. They are more able to connect to it. Poetry is, like any art form, all about reactions and connections, it might not touch someone in an older age group, but children would probably love it.



By the way, if you wrote something like that in fourth grade, I'd be interested in seeing what you're writing now, if you've kept writing your style must be incredible now



Great job though
Reply:The poem is pretty but it needs to have meaning.
Reply:It's actually pretty good considering you were in 4th Grade. However, I'm confused to the actual meaning of your poem. Find a meaning and enhance it to make it clear