Would you help a contact in this situation ? honest answers?

Ok I can not help it if I am the best break dancer in 12 counties and I have single handily restored breakdancing to its former glory. It has been said I have beautiful hair and gawd knows this is true but I wake up in the morning just like you, I wash dry, just like you , but i buy expensive shampoo. It is true I breastfeed all my neighbors husbands to be sure they have a healthy breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and midnight snack, but Can I help it if I am a natural born do gooder? No, I was destined to be perfect. Now I find out the one person whom I have not had sex with hates me behind my back because i was blessed with these many gifts and look good doing them in my skin tight gold spandex..is it my fault I strive for five? How can i make Dingle realize she has to earn an invite ot these blessed events? oh ans so everyone knows when i smile the gleam from my teeth can light a dark ally

Would you help a contact in this situation ? honest answers?
I want to have your children......not physically give birth....I want the kids you have for additional tax credits. E-mail me to work out details.
Reply:This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!!!
Reply:Have you taken your medication for the day?
Reply:um....sure I would.



But don't we have to have..err...oh..never mind. I'm not good enough to be your contact {sob sob} and I so look up to perfection {sniff sniff}.



well..I'll just keep plugging away....hoping...dreaming...some day...







{curls up in corner with snacks and bottle of Thunderbird wine..can't afford anything else, bought so many snacks..}
Reply:I loved the 80s too girl!
Reply:My gawd, Woman! I am SO not worthy of even answering this question! Please forgive me!
Reply:I for one will vouch that a Dingelbury on your resume is the bomb and until you can spell her name I am not sure you deserve her.
Reply:HEY HEY HEY NOW WERE YOU STEALING MY PRESCRIBED MORPHINE PILLS (TO COMFORT MY NOSE) BECAUSE I THOUGH SOME WERE MISSING AND THIS EXPLAINS IT
Reply:I feel aroused and confused, but mostly aroused.
Reply:All I had to do to get that from you was get you a Big Mac, a scratch off lottery ticket, and wine from a box.



Time to go shoping Dingle...quit being a cheapskate. Spitty deserves the best as you can see.
Reply:I bet Ding would pay you handsomely to teach her kid to break dance!
Reply:Burst their bubble
Reply:would you come stand on my porch, the bulb went out last night and i could use your teeth, thanks!!
Reply:I'm sorry, my ADD kicked in after about the 3rd sentence



Exactly how many questions are you asking anyway?!



U and Ding just do each other and put and end to all this madness
Reply:Look...



You two need to come to my house and just fight it out in the bubble room



I'll bring the video camera, so don't worry about that