This is what my nextdoor neighbour told me happened when she took her three children out would you believe her

1) NUDITY


I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'





2) OPINIONS





On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'





3) KETCHUP


A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'


4) MORE NUDITY


A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'


5) POLICE # 1


While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?' 'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'


6) POLICE # 2


It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'


7) ELDERLY


While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


8) DRESS-UP


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party, as they so often did. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. '


9) DEATH


While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'


10) SCHOOL


A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'


11) BIBLE


A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear.





'Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile. '

This is what my nextdoor neighbour told me happened when she took her three children out would you believe her
Oh my gosh...YES, I believe kids have said those things! They're so funny! I'm going to read #2 OPINIONS for when my grandkids start school.





Somehow, I think a disclaimer may be necessary!
Reply:Lol, some of them are pretty good
Reply:Yes I would believe her! Kids seem to know the best thing to say at just the right moment! Chuckles!!
Reply:Very cute, I'd believe those stories!
Reply:kids say just what they think...love these ..you deserve a star
Reply:that all happened in one day? i wouldnt believe her
Reply:Laugh-laugh and laugh. Yes I believe it. Aren't kids great !
Reply:Righty-O! I had to laugh when I noticed the question about the Scotsman yelling at Bono was deleted. Perhaps the term HO-RAY offended someone in the inner circle? What a WEE SHAME that some people have no reason to laugh at lifes's little tragedies that come from a source of innocence! Thanks!
Reply:More good ones, Thanks.
Reply:this is great got a big kick out of it and so did my husband , thank you
Reply:Oh, these were great! I laughed out loud! Thank you.


#9 was sooooo funny! Now when I start giggling in church when the priest says "In the name of the Father...", no one will know why!
Reply:O come on now. Your too much!
Reply:Funny :) have a star
Reply:LOL.....so cute and funny. I totally would believe it too. Kids say the darnest things.........
Reply:I did laugh uncontrollably.


Each one of them was exceptional.
Reply:Well I don't regret reading this, it made me smile from beginning to end.





And no I don't believe a word of it!
Reply:Wonderful Suzie, and a star for you. You do know that I pass these on , don't you?
Reply:I believe every one - and chuckled at them all. I recall - therefore this is true - listening to a six-year-old singing All Things Bright and Beautiful - into which he sang: "All creatures grated small." Just hoped the child had no small pets at home! Have a good day everyone!