2012年2月8日星期三

I'm no poet, and I know it. Can someone help me with this poem for high school graduation?

The darly light that has blindfold me, has never seam to be unbound from my eyes. I see the morning light shine in it's pure aray, but , my body seams heavy with the black of yesterday.

It seams long; waiting for the day till I can cast aside the black in me. Can't I have the piece I want? Can't I see the morning sun with a light heart? Will my life see it; the mornning without the black?

That day, though far away, shall come. Oh sweet shall be that day, when mornning comes anew with that light white heart.

Hail to the victor! Hail to the tempted! Hail to the Man who has conqured all! Let us those who have endured the black; those who conqured it, enjoy the morning light in it's cathedraling glory.

The Morrning light crucibates my body into gold. I am as strong as the stone carved from the mountain top! I am an invincible hawk in the sky! I am the tree that will never die!



As you can see, this poem is out of controle. I don't know how to finish %26amp; fix it.

Thankyou

I'm no poet, and I know it. Can someone help me with this poem for high school graduation?
actually , for a graduation , that isn't bad at all , it should be bombastic for a class ready to go into the world . I'd maybe change the last sentence where " the morning light " starts . Maybe put a small warning of the temptations of life .

I enjoyed it .
Reply:That day, though far away, shall come.



Hail to the victor! Hail to the tempted!

Hail to the Man who has conqured all!



Let us those who have endured the darkness;

those who conqured it; enjoy the morning light.



I am as strong as the stone carved out of mountains!



I am an invincible hawk in the sky!



I am the tree that will never die!
Reply:High school,

I can't believe its done.

Remembering all of the good times,

tears spring to my eyes.

I'll miss all of you,

especially my friends.

Teachers that have gotten me through,

through the roughest of times,

i'll miss them as well.

Having to say bye,

to all of the (fill in the blank),

fills me with tears,

this is so hard.

But at least there's a good side.

Me and along with friends,

are only off to something better,

a good future.

And its thanks to our teachers,

our sometimes agrivating,

but full of excitement teachers!

So please don't weep,

as we say our good-byes.

And please remember me,

as I will remember you all.

Now its the time,

to finally say good-bye.
Reply:If you use the spellcheck it would be a good start!


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